Finding the Joy

Hey friends,

I think we left off with us getting ready to go to training and getting all our paperwork filled out.  In the last month we were able to go to a super training weekend in Dallas.  We spent the weekend getting a ton of info thrown our way. Eight classes thrown into one weekend. It was long but we enjoyed it. Very informative. We now have a huge binder of info that will probably go out the window once we get a child. J/k, kind of. It really is some good info. We came away meeting some great people. It is nice to know you aren’t alone in your questions, thoughts, doubts, etc. We have been working diligently to get our paperwork done and we are getting so close to being done. I think we have 2 forms left that we will turn in Monday and that will finish us off! Unless of course they come up with some more or lose some. Praying that doesn’t happen. I know I have said it plenty but thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your prayers. I/we have felt peace through this all. So far it has gone smoothly and fairly quickly. Not to say I haven’t been a little frustrated at times with some of these requirements we have to do but hey I don’t make the rules.

I also think it has been neat to see how God continues to teach us and reassure us along the way and just felt I needed to share how he continues to be the awesome God he is.  We don’t make it to church every week due to our schedules but when we do, the lesson just seems like what we (or at least I) need to hear.  We started the book of James two weeks ago in Sunday School.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:1-4.

These first four verses just resonated with me. You can hear verses many times but then it just takes once for it to hit ya differently.

The first four words..”Consider it pure joy.” Who wants or is even going to be looking for pure joy in their trials. We had a good conversation about this is Sunday school. Yea God let me have joy in the fact Nick and I can’t get pregnant. Cancer, divorce, death of a child or any loved one, job loss, not finding a job, infidelity, bullying, whatever the case your first thought isn’t to consider it a joy right? However, in these trials we can find joy in the fact that God, if we trust him, will use these trials to grow our faith.

So no I don’t think I’m going to have joy that I can’t get pregnant for whatever reason right now. BUT I will and have joy in the fact that my faith in Christ has grown and will continue to grow through this. That I can see changes in Nick and his faith. That we have grown closer to each other and together through this process. I will have joy in trusting that our story will touch at least one person’s life. That we get to share the love of Christ with a child one day. I will have joy in knowing God’s timing is perfect and he has the perfect child for Nick and I.

But the only way I believe all that is because I have been through other trials. I have seen these verses lived out in my life. I can’t imagine going through what we are going through without ever having any other trials. Without ever having to trust God, to lean on him, to patiently wait on His time and not our own. Because of those trials this one doesn’t seem so terrible. I handle each trial a little differently because I’ve grown from the last one. Each time it is a little easier to find the joy. Don’t get me wrong, we aren’t perfect. We have moments where we each are like this is hard. We just want to start a family. It is ok to grieve, to be sad, have doubts. It is ok to ask God why. He can handle it.

I’ll never know why my second grade Sunday school teacher was killed by her husband. A man I hugged every Sunday morning up until junior high. But God doesn’t owe me an answer. At the time I’m sure I was demanding some.  I find joy in the fact that there were over a thousand people(if not it was close) at her funeral though and that her legacy still lives on through so many people. She led so many people to Christ while on earth and after as well.

I’ll never understand why my dad was disabled for 16 years before he got approved for another surgery and it worked. No doubt that is hardest on him than anyone else. But I find joy in knowing God does answer prayers. Not always how we want or how fast we want but he does. I find joy in the fact that my family is stronger having gone through that together. Those sixteen years shaped me and molded me into the woman I am today and will help shape my family as well.

Then there are things like money. Recently we had some extra money and we were going to use it pay some stuff off. Then life happens, need new tires, oil changes, house repairs and you are just frustrated because you are back to square one. Then we get a check in the mail for almost the exact amount of money you had to spend all those things. Sorry y’all that is not coincidence. There have so many other times stuff like this has happened so honestly I don’t worry too much about money anymore. I’m not perfect, Nick can attest that I still get very stressed about finances sometimes but it is much improved.

There are things we might not ever understand but there are some things we can. I can look back in our 4 years of marriage and see how God has been working on us leading up to adoption. Y’all we couldn’t have done this our first year. Probably not even our second. We have grown so much as a couple, especially in the communication department. Can I get an amen! Nick had never even considered adoption when we got married. Just to look back and see how God’s hand has been in our marriage and how things have unfolded up to this point has been special and reassuring that this is what the Lord is calling us to do right now!

Nick has been through his fair share of trials too. Not to speak too much for him. He is napping as I type this.  Cancer has been the biggest nuisance in his family.  He can tell his stories and how he can look back and see God’s hand in it all. His 15yr old self was pretty mad at God but God placed people in his life at the perfect time and used his trials to bring Nick closer to Him instead of turn away from him.  Aren’t I thankful he did. So when cancer hit his family again recently, he could say ok God I know you got this. Going to trust you.

Through each of those trials, trust me there are way more, I have grown a little more in my faith. I have trusted God easier each time, I have had patience a little better each time. I believe it a little easier when I say His timing is perfect. I don’t ask why as much. With each trial it really is easier to find the joy.

Maybe you are in a dark place right now. Maybe you are going through something awful. Maybe you haven’t thought about previous trials and how you have grown through each one. I encourage you to stop and look back. Look back and see God’s hand in it all. I encourage you that even though the circumstance isn’t joyful, to find a little bit of joy in it. Know that if you will let him, God is right there with you. He isn’t causing this bad thing to happen to you but He will use it for you to grow in your faith and trust Him more and that is the most Joyful part. That is more important than never going through any trials and never growing in your faith.

Sometimes I get done typing and have no idea how I got this far but I just trust it is what someone needed to read today. So for whoever read this far I am praying for you. Praying whatever life is throwing at you right now just know you aren’t alone. Let God walk beside you and find joy knowing your faith will grow stronger through this and you will be a little better equipped for the next trial.

Prayer request for us:

1. Prayers all our paperwork gets processed quickly and nothing gets lost. I would love to be approved to adopt by the end of November before the holidays hit but all in God’s timing.
2. Continued prayers for patience and peace. Y’all have been doing good on that!
3. Keep praying for Nick and I. Feel like recently the devil has creeped into some conversations and caused frustrations on my end and we don’t have time for that.
4.  Keep praying for our future child and while they wait the are being loved and poured into. Pray for all children in foster care right now.
5. Last but not least pray for someone you know going through a tough time right now.

Hopefully the next update will be letting you know we are approved to adopt. How exciting that will be. Thankful for each and every one of you that are on this journey with us.

Brittany and Nick